- October 19th, 2009
A year ago, I would have said men are bigger cheats. Now though, I am not really sure. I have this friend, I love her to death really I do, but she cheats like no other. I have honestly never met anyone else that cheats quite like her. I don't think she would cheat any more or any less for any reason. There is no certainty that she won't get caught so it really wouldn't make a difference. She has actually been known to get herself caught on purpose just so she can see how long it takes someone to figure it out. It's crazy. I personally though, think cheating is wrong. It's not something that I have ever done, or plan to do. I think that if you don't feel the same about someone and you want to be with someone else you should just tell them. It might not be the most easy thing to do, but then again life isn't supposed to be easy. Any situation that involves cheating, can be avoided. You don't love them anymore, tell them. You aren't getting what you need from them, talk to them about it. Communication and Honesty, to me, are the most important things in any relationship. If you can't talk to your partner about things, then maybe you just shouldn't be with them. There are so many ways that you can get around having to cheat. Cheating always hurts at least one person, and in a lot of cases more then that. I don't see why people feel like they have to do it.
Me personally, I do believe in marriage. I have been married, I am now divorced. I know people say that once you are married it is supposed to be forever or whatnot. I can't really say that I agree with that.
People change over time, no matter how well you know them. You could meet the most wonderful man/woman and date for years before deciding to get married. You eventually decide to get married and settle down and have a family. Things are good for a while. Then all of a sudden life just becomes too much. Your husband/wife snaps and loses it. Starts hitting you, hurting the kids, whatever. You are honestly going to tell me that you have to stay with that person for the rest of your life and just live in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship and give up on any chance of there ever being happiness with someone else because 15 years ago you decided to marry this person.
To me that is all just bullshit. Sorry, it's how I feel, I really don't mean to offend anyone. I will say though, that I don't think that you should view marriage as something that doesn't mean anything or like it is some sort of game. I don't think people should just wait a few months after the start of "dating" someone and then decide to get married. I have been in 2 very serious relationships both of which lasted over 3 years. I was so in love and wanted to get married but looking back now, obviously neither of them were the person I truly wanted to be with. Granted I am only 24 now, so when I was in those, I was young and stupid and just wanted to grow up. But even now, I see people who are with someone for a week and are already talking about the rest of forever with them. I think that now days people, for some reason are so hell bent on having someone and not being alone, that they will do whatever it takes to have someone there. Which I don't understand? What exactly is the problem with being single?
I haven't been with anyone since I left my ex husband which was a little over 3 years ago (and yea that includes sexually). People are always telling me that I need to put myself out there and that I need to find someone. Well, Why? I am fine being alone right now. I have a lot of issues in my life that I need to work through. Most days, I don't even like myself, let alone love myself, so how am I supposed to love another person? I do eventually want to find that special someone, settle down and live a happy life but I am not in any hurry to do it. I don't think it's right to go into a relationship knowing that I can't give it everything. Hell, to be completely honest, I have a friend, I have known her for about 2 years now. She is a lesbian, which never ever bothered me. I have always believed that a persons sexual preferences do not define who they are. Which, I guess is a good mentality for me to have since about a year ago, I started finding myself attracted to her. I have never felt the way I do about her about any other female. So now, I am constantly questioning my sexuality and I am not sure where any of this will lead. So until I do figure out what I want, I can't go into a relationship. Just because I wouldn't be able to be honest and I don't really think that starting a relationship without honesty is a good idea.
So anyways, yea. That is my thoughts on cheating and marriage and whatever else. I do tend to get way off of topic and just ramble forever. So I will leave you with this. Again, I have no intentions of offending anyone with things that I have said, and I am sorry if they do.